Sunday, July 28, 2013

Coming Home..........

When we got home I started relaxing.  But the true moment of full relaxation was when I opened the door and could smell my house.  It doesn't smell bad.  It's the smell of old wood houses with wood floors.  And it brings back so many good childhood memories.  And now good adult memories.

And after a week away, my gaze was hungry for the familiar.  And instead of seeing "mess", I saw home.  I saw the sewing machine I had been using the day before we left.  And our furniture, books, stuff!  I saw home.

I don't know how to describe the feeling to those who may not have ever felt it.  Physically, you stand slightly taller and straighter as stress goes away.  Your shoulders and back muscles relax from the load they were carrying.  And yet at the same time, the exhaustion from that load comes crashing down.

But then the mental hits, and you know that you are somewhere safe.  On the vacation we went to a place where they could measure brain waves to see who was more relaxed.  I easily beat all but the youngest members of our group.  I'd love to see what level I register at now that I am home.  Right now I'm tired mentally.  But at the same time rejuvenated because of all the grace filled, beautiful blessings that are present here, at home, for us.

As I sit here now, continuing to let stress go, my skin gets running sensations of pins and needles as the muscle groups relax.

But all of that is me.  Perhaps the best parts came from my son.

When I asked him if he wanted to sit in the van to see the end of his movie while I unloaded, he shook his head no.  He actually shook his head.  He's never done that before.  Earlier in the week, he nodded.  I'm hoping that he may continue to do so.  But I ramble.  He wanted to be home.  And he wanted to be IN his home, not just sitting in the van in the yard.  And upon entering his home, he did all his normal come home behaviors with the biggest, happiest grin on his face.

And then, of course, he started acting out.  Something that I'm pretty sure was because he was feeling those same sensations that I was and he doesn't have a way to express it.

But the best moment of them all was when I sent him to bed.  He climbed in bed, and then just had to "find" all of his toys.  And then quite a few minutes of squirming around just to feel his bed, sheets, pillows, and blankets around him.  And then that amazingly happy smile as he gave me a good night kiss, rolled over and pulled the blanket up.  While I wish I could share that smile with you, I can't.  I don't keep a camera on hand for moments like that.  And the moment with him was some much more important than any camera shot.  It was one of those smiles that shows perfect happiness with the world and makes you feel like you just got a full body hug at the same time.

I love my son for so many reasons.  The ability to remind me of the simplest joys in life is just one of those reasons.

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