The Bad and the Ugly

I've been away for a while.  That's because life decided that I didn't have quite enough strife to deal with and dealt me a few more blows.

First, within the next two years I will have to move.  This was supposed to be my last move, our forever home unless I found another partner in life.  But in order to get this house, I had to allow family members to purchase it.  My marriage/divorce had destroyed my credit.  Now, I am in a financial situation that is worse, so even though my credit is better.  I can't afford the down payment for a mortgage.  Well, those family members have decided that they are moving.  And they have decided that since they are moving over 4 hours away, I must move so that they will be on hand if I need them.  They are ignoring that my brother lives here.  They are also ignoring that I finally have a support network for my son here.  They are ignoring that I hate moving.  I have put soooo much time and energy into this house and land. 

I haven't been taking this well.  So right now my brain is percolating through all the projects on the To Do list.  It's deciding which projects are worth doing when we are going to be forced to move and which will have to be put on the back burner, for years, again.  And I'm battling the anger and depression that this has triggered.  Especially since this exact issue was discussed before I even agreed to move here.

Second is that my son has been ill.  All we could figure out was that his stomach hurt.  That led into a whole adventure with doctors and insurance.  Finally, one doctor was incredibly, wonderfully kind and said he would see and treat my son - and write off anything that our primary insurance would not pay.  The tears that come to my eyes over this still occur now - days later.  An upper GI has been done and my son is on medicine to help his stomach.  Hopefully this will all soon just be a bad/good memory.

Third is that money is even more insanely tight than usual.  This month is the month to pay for homeschool, homeschool Co-Op, and car tags.  Add on to that more than a few doctor trips to doctors that are over an hour away.  And I've still got to figure out how to make it over the mountains to take my son's service dog to his vet.  And how to afford the gas to take my son to the eye doctor - three hours away.  Right now the indian is riding the buffalo and I'm still coming up short.  Thank heavens for the supplies I have put back for other things.

Now, if you've actually read this far I'm amazed.  I don't normally rant.  But I do know that sometimes, if I put things in writing, my mind clears enough to see a path through it all.  And sometimes fate kicks in, in a friendly way, and helps set things straight.  So thank you for reading this far and bearing with me.