Ponderings........

Once a very long time ago, I heard a story about Odysseus being reincarnated and the life that he chose for that reincarnation.  The story I remember is that he chose to be a farmer.  When I looked online I found the Myth of Er which merely says that he chose the life of a private man but no further information.  In the story I remember others were present and questioned his choice, wondering why he would chose to be a lowly farmer when he had been such a rich and powerful king.  Which then segues into a telling of the tale of Odysseus' life.

Ever since then that scenario has stuck in my brain.  If we were reincarnated into new lives, what new lives would we chose and why?  If we are indeed reincarnated, and we get to chose the next life, why did I chose this one?  Why did my son chose the one he did?  What lessons were we hoping to learn?  Or, what life occurrences were we hoping to avoid?  Or alternatively, if a higher power chose these lives, why?  What lessons are we to learn from this lifetime?

I wonder about what I would say to myself in regards to this life after it was over and I remembered all my prior lives?  What would I be happy that I learned?  What had I failed to learn?  What had I done that would make me truly ashamed?  What had I learned that I had wanted to learn?  And what learning surprises had appeared on the way through this lifetime?  Who had I helped in a good way?  Who had I harmed?  Who had I known before?  Who was new?  Why were things successful?  Why did things fail?  Or if I had to face a higher power, how would I feel about my actions, deeds, thoughts?

Could I hold my head up and know that I had treated others in ways that I could be happy with?  Could I hold me head up and know that I had aided those who needed it whether it be by my deeds for them, or to protect them?

Sometimes when I ask myself those questions I am quietly satisfied with my private answers.  Once or twice in my life, I've been ashamed.  I don't hold myself to anyone else's standards. I have my own private deeply held beliefs that I try to live by.  I'm glad that most of the time I can be satisfied.  And as I ponder tonight it's a mixed bag.  But mostly I'm satisfied.  And again, curious, what were those other lives like?  What did I want to learn in this one?

I know that an answer will not magically appear.  But I can ponder it.  And occasionally wish that somewhere in the balance for this life a big lottery winning will appear.  ;-)  Or even better, a complete and harmless cure for autism.  :-)

Life is okay tonight and I'm just pondering.  What would your answers to the questions be?